Space

We all need space, somewhere to go or somewhere to be. Sometimes to be alone and at other times to be with people. Our spaces can be private but often they are available to everyone. We like our special space but it can’t always be as we want it. There’s other people there or maybe there’s no one there. When it changes we don’t like it. We pass judgement on these people, just for there presence or lack of it. What right have they got to be in our space, changing it so its not to our liking.

I love Pitville park. I suppose you could say its one of my special spaces. It’s a park that suits all occasions and moods, for meeting friends or for being alone. The other night I went for a walk in the park and as I went along I noticed that there were lots of other people using this space as their own special space to get away. There were youths escaping from parents, young couples silently enjoying the other persons company, runners, dog walkers and fishermen, all there for their own reason yet all sharing the same special place. Its so easy to pass judgement on these people, wishing the youths would be more responsible or the couples to be less in your face and the runners to be less enthusiastic. But what right have we got to pass judgement? We don’t own the space and we don’t own them and so there’s nothing we can do about it. If your not careful this can also affect your mood.

I’ve been challenged recently by the ‘I want never gets’ statement. I assume I know what I want and when I want it but actually it should be what god wants and in his perfect timing. How do we know what’s best for us and what will be best in the long run. As I sat in the park I slowly realised that there’s so much in the world that you cannot see. Your peripheral vision just contains too much for your brain to handle never mind process thoughts about. This got me thinking more. We always have such a limited view of our current situation and experiences but god sees it as it truly is and he sees and knows how each situation fits together into his grander designs and plans. However much we stop and think we always get a distorted image. Imagine looking at a reflection in a lake. A beautiful scene or person reflected in the water yet it’s interrupted with ripples and movement on the surface of the water. Initially it looks beautiful but as you look up you realise its not as good as the real thing. When we keep our eyes focussed to the floor we only see the reflection but when we look up we see it through Gods eyes in its true beauty.

However much control we want we can’t have it. We can’t have the spaces to ourselves and we can’t live in a world where things always go our way. Perhaps more importantly we don’t properly see our situations or spaces. To be honest I’m glad I cant control all these things, id surely mess it up and then id be even more miserable. God has each space and situation in his hands and whether I should it or not I’m glad it’s all controlled by him.

Rain

A while ago I went for a walk one evening round the park. I was feeling really down and I just wanted my own space. I stepped outside, turned on my ipod, then angrily went back inside. My ipod had no charge and it looked like rain. I put the ipod on charge and sat in the house twiddling my thumbs. After half an hour I was so wound up that I decided I must go out and walk, it was the only thing that would help my mood and it would surely clear my head. I really don’t remember what was causing my foul mood but id got it into my head that a brisk walk was the only thing for it, so I just had to go.

As I walked, briskly in the cool evening breeze, my bizarre thoughts got even worse and I got it into my head that it would really help me feel better if it rained. You know, those big spots of rain, I just wanted to be drenched and I thought that would make me feel better. Those of you who know me will appreciate how unusual this is; I usually hate getting wet and always have an umbrella in my bag just in case. But somehow, on this occasion, I believed that some proper rain would help me to feel better and then I could go back home. It didn’t rain. There was thunder, and wind but no rain came. After an hour and a half I decided it was getting late and I should probably go back. Not all was lost I had been out of the house and I had been able to use the time to pray and reflect. As I climbed the steps to my bedroom I heard drops on the rooftop. I looked out of the window and low and behold it was raining, not just light rain but wet, heavy rain. Now I was cross. I had wanted a walk in the rain and that hadn’t happened. It felt like God was laughing in my face by sending the rain just as I got home.

This was a while ago now and apart from my unusual feeling of anger I didn’t really see the significance. This morning I listened to a talk on a passage from mark that I thought I knew quite well. Id lead bible study on marks gospel so knew the main themes and I think because of that I didn’t start with the best attitude. The talk was unexpectedly amazing! The speaker was so powerful and covered many different areas. One of these was the need to reassess our priorities and the realisation that societies priorities are not always correct.

This caused me to reflect on my current situation. For many years now I knew I would go to university to train as a teacher and I assumed I would walk straight into a job. From the age of 5 I’ve known I would be a teacher and so just assumed it would happen. Now that it hasn’t happened I’m not angry at god, rather wondering what he has in store for me.

My priorities should be god’s priorities and these are not necessarily the same as societies priorities. God knows what is best for me even when I don’t. This talk caused me to remember my walk in the ‘rain’. I thought the rain would be best for me but actually it wasn’t and god knew that getting wet wouldn’t have helped in the slightest but the long prayerful walk did.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that god always knows what’s best for us even when we don’t. Retrospect is a wonderful thing but we can’t have that until the time has passed. I don’t know what the future has in store for me but I pray that we will each be open to the challenges and opportunities he sends us. God does know best and getting cross or agitated certainly doesn’t solve anything.

Gods perfect Timing

Have you ever felt like everyone around you has something or is doing something and you’re not included? I seem to have reached an age where lots of my friends are getting engaged and planning weddings. Of course not everyone’s engaged but everyone seems to know where they’re heading and have jobs or secure futures. I on the other hand, am living in a world of uncertainty not know what’s going to come up next. Don’t get me wrong I’m very happy for my friends and this is not a blog about self pity. Being in this situation has just caused me to reflect on timing and planning. It’s difficult to know what the best choices are but really we are very lucky because god has everything planned and however hard we try or whatever mistakes we make, we cant mess up his perfect plan for our lives. Gods timing is always right. He knows what we truly need and when we need it. What’s more he doesn’t just know this he act on it and provides for us, often so much more than just what we need. Although it’s hard when others have what you desire I am trusting that I’m in this situation for a reason. I’m not sure what god has in store for me over the next few months and years but I’m trusting that in his perfect timing it will be revealed to me. You can look upon uncertainty with excitement or fear. I’m going for the first one – a child of God walking with him and trusting in his perfect plan. (well that’s what I’m trying to do anyway)

There’s a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3)

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun,
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace,

This is a commonly used passage (not always with good effect) but what’s important is that whatever we are going through god is there with us, guiding us and watching over every situation we find ourselves in. there is NOT a time when god isnt there with us!